Less talk (type), more yoga
I’ve been wrapped up in the online turmoil of debates on elephantjournal and yogadork’s blog and in my own brain about the commercialization of yoga and celebrity teachers and sexy ads. And I’m exploding. And I’m still just pulling all my thoughts together but seriously think I will never be done doing that. So many parts of my personality combine to make this a disaster. Easily addicted, a little OCD, super anxious, wishful writer, even more wishful yoga teacher, but truly mostly insecure unless I really try. I’m exploding. I need to intervene multiple times a day so I don’t spend every hour online, boiling over responses to Yoga Journal’s inappropriate weight-loss tips and trying to type fast enough to express me wisdom about how “real yoga” is a relatively useless, unimportant term (who cares?). I can’t stop!! Too much news! Too much BLOGS! (God, why did I move home without a job?) To make it worse, there’s no avoiding, especially in the virtual world, the beautiful-body obsession and yoga-for-weight-loss whirlwind. Last vulnerable part of my unbalanced persona: seized.
Today a friend sent me a link to this NYT piece about Tara Stiles and her “REBEL yoga.” Gasp? She was only trying to make conversation but it made me wildly stressed, and since then I’ve been clicking madly for blog to blog, soaking up the yoga-web controversy (that I feel so not a part of) like a sunburn. Now I am thinking: blogging about yoga — worth it? Negative energy?
My problem, I think, I think, is that I have never been good at accepting that I’m not really that unique. I think I’m sad that there are so many people writing so many beautiful blogs about their opinions about yoga, life-changing or not, overlapping my “yoga saved my life” deal. Oh God, is that my schtick? There have come others before me that are just like me, and it makes me heart feel like mud. Then there’s the advertising, the Lululemon bashing, the posing celebrities in full forearm balance. Useless — hype?
Less hype — NO hype. More yoga.
Well, last night I saw The Social Network. Maybe that’s where this is coming from.